An open letter to people who send out spam e-mails

Dear Spam (I realize spam comes from an automated system, and not from actual people, but just work with me here),

I have a bone to pick with you, mister! Why me? I was just trying to win that 50'' flat screen when I signed up for that sketchy e-mail list. Hindsight is always 20/20, but is it too much to ask that a brotha just wants to save a few bucks here and there?

Secondly, get a space bar and stop making it seem like the "sender" is the subject line.

Finally, daaammmnnnn. You must have a lot of time on your hands. Get a job man. Stop trying to live off the system. Spam averages 78% of all e-mails sent.

Basically, get out of my inbox. It's as simple as that. I'll admit I get a little excited whenever I receive an e-mail because it makes me feel like I have a reason to communicate electronically with the outside world, but you just annoy the shit out of me. Now, excuse me while I go find "PlusSizeClothing" for those "BigAndBeautofulSingles."

Sincerely,
rmed

P.S. Apparently the federal government is asking you to spam them. Forward your spam to this website.
P.P.S. Spam really grinds my...no, sorry. I can't do it.