Angry Cooper Rants: Concerts (Again)

I'M BAAAAAAACK. In an effort to revive this blog we've come back with a new outlook on how to post, when to post, and what to post. Logically most of this background discussion and the little break we took was directed at making sure I'm not posting stupid stuff 20 times a day. Have no fear though, I'm still angry. And according to the people whom I drank with this weekend I keep ranting.

So I might have done something like this before but I happened to go to a concert last weekend and Evan's been pressuring me to get something done by Wednesday. So here we go, ten things that bother me about concerts.

First off, the loud concert. (Notable offenders: Every rock band ever)

piss off

I know I haven't posted a ton lately...

....so here's a picture of me with Elvii

Morning News: Well at least this means we get time travel?

Angry Cooper Rants: Why are concerts so damn expensive?

Although it might not appear it at this time, it is the end of May. You know what this means...

Paging Jay Belsito
...well, yes, that.

...and well yes, this too. (horray)
And because my filter is on today while I'm at work, yes, ladies outfits become smaller.

But I'm past the point here.
I'm going to assume at this point that you've read the title. So yeah.
Jump jump jump for the rest of the post

What a Novel Idea

Morning News:

yeah, I'm going to lose my mind by friday if I don't do anything.

Morning News: Are we sure Nicki Minaj isn't dating Yankee?

hurr durr
Not content with making millions of dollars and being played on the radio every five minutes, Lady Gaga's evil rapping doppleganger wants to be played more in the cluuuuuuuub. Apparently unaware that local radio stations have nothing else to play BUT her songs (because they're being paid to), she's hoping that by cutting down on the amount of tracks that she colaborates on and "making the feaures really, really count" she can persuade DJ's to play her in the dance cluuuuuub. This, of course, has nothing to do AT ALL with her recent "dance collab" with David Guetta, something she has called "dope" and "her two favorite songs" (at least until her next song comes out).

"You know, my voice needs to be in the club and people need to be getting tipsy, and wasted and crazy and all those other things to a Nicki Minaj song in the club right now! I'm actually excited about both."

So what we're saying here is that you need to be drunk to listen to her music. At least SOMEBODY is being honest about how much Top 40 music sucks.

Tech Tuesday Wednesday

Here's what you need to know. Polk county (in florida) has institued the usage of the XERP round in their shotguns. What does XERP stand for?
no, not that

eXtended Range Electronic Projectile. In laymans terms, a fired projectile (with fins to stabilize the flight no less) with piercing barbs attached to a taser like battery. To summarize,
combined with
Maybe their R&D depatrment is a six year old with a bag of sugar and cocaine.


...remind me to never mess around in Florida.

Monday Morning Mindfuck.

(hope this works, I'm at work)

People who are doing it RIGHT: Double SHOT

Good morning readers, since it would appear that nobody is getting ANY work done today and my morning radio stream is broken, you get a double feature of people who are doing things with alcohol to help out the world. And since i'm being incredibly lazy, here's a teaser of the headlines so we get more pageviews....since ours almost halved last month and I'm shameless.
I actually considered the name doubleshot for my cover band

---From the Dept. of Weird: Even Colder Coors
---Scotland toasts new whisky-powered bioenergy plant

Morning News / 30 Second Bruins

Only slightly Claude. Don't fark this up.

Angry Cooper Rants: Now that we've solved the terrorist problem....

...can we please have SETI back?

For those of you who aren't aware (read: everyone). SETI means the "Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence." Ostensibly it's a huge bunch of nerds with giant satellite dishes trying to lesten for communiques, transmisions, anything out of the ordinary from space.

Obviously there's cable

Here's the deal. They only need five million dollars. Over TWO years. For those of you playing at home, that's almost equal to the cost of ONE predator missile. ONE. Between 2007-8 we fired 244. Just in the middle east. (damn right I did 15 seconds worth of research)

3 Second Bruins Recap

...and the preview for tonight..

TUESDAY MORNING EDIT

An artist's depiction of how last night went...

FREE SECONDINI!

Putin!

• Man faces up to four years in prison after he was charged with intentionally running over and killing four ducklings with his Hummer.....
  


• The ducklings, the mother duck and four to eight other ducklings were nesting under a bush at a McDonald's restaurant ....


• The Driver is charged with driving the Hummer back into the McDonald's parking lot and running over the flock, killing four of the ducklings...
  
  Way to go Sac. I ain't bailing you out.

On a side note, googling duck killer gives a shockingly large amount of articles like this

Morning news: We're all boned. Or Actually, YOU'RE all boned.

Whilst Sony is busy giving your personal information to skynet/hackers/anonymous, and everyone is busy changing all their passwords and worrying that the apocalypse is coming, Microsoft unbanned all their consoles. Oh yeah, and PSN is still down. More fail after the cut.

In case anybody needed more proof that we're all farked....

A group of marathon runners very nearly ran down an antelope in the wild. Let me repeat that.

This

Ran Down

This

I'm huffing and puffing after a 7:40 mile and these dudes are running sub 5 minute miles. In the desert. After a farking antelope. For 20 miles. TO TIRE IT OUT.

Also I've really got nothing to post recently. Haven't seen a story I like enough and it's too easy to make fun of y'all for being PS3 fanboys.... and nobody likes the Wii anymore.

Coopermusic DOUBLE: The Bands I'm Seeing Tonight

SYMPHONY X - Inferno

POWERGLOVE- Tetris. (yes, Tetris)

Angry Cooper Rants: Student Loans PSA

Ah yes, the scourge of the college grad. Since our demographic is basically graduates of higher instiutions, people who get misled in google search, and some people in Germany (Rammsetin ist genial, Entschuldigen Sie mein Deutsch), I'm going to appeal to the former this morning (I'll do Rammstein in a CooperMusic later).

The #1 Reason the Blackhawks are coming back this series.

Are we allowed to do caption contests? Winner gets some baked goods or a beer or something.

In today's "Who got funding to do this study"..... Is Headbanging Dangerous?

So if you were to take a snapshot of my typical 7-4pm workday, you would assume that my day basically consists of science and music. Shocker. And to poorly quote one of my other articles "why not combine them?" After all, there's got to be somebody who is willing to pay me to do science on music... right?Well apparently somebody already beat me to it. Either this is the fakest study ever, or quite possibly the funniest. It even sounds like I wrote the title...

"Head and neck injury risks in heavy metal: head bangers stuck between rock and a hard bass"

I'm going to break it down (LOL OBVIOUS PUN LOL), but you're going to have to click the "read more" button so I can feel good about myself when I look at the pageviews. (Editor's note: this is actually kind of long, for once) (also caution: light profanity)