Detroit has pretty much been a symbol of the economic crisis. The center of the American Auto Industry turned into a wasteland. And eguarino even listed it as the 4th location on his Spring Break stay-away low five.Which is why I was so confused when that guy tried to light his underoos on fire and blow up a plane over Detroit. Why pick a city that was already so desolate? They completely got the Unabomber's strategy wrong: you live in seclusion, and bomb the places where the population is relatively high. Not the other way around. In this case, we should be happy terrorist's are dumbasses.
Now I understand a lot more because we finally got it all cleared up. According to this story from Yahoo, the original targets were Chicago or Houston, but flights were too expensive. Ummm guys? Did you know you can only get Southwest fares on Southwest.com? And bags fly free so you wouldn't even need to light your crotch up. Unless you're planning on lighting a fart (which in itself is questionable), there's no excuse to put matches within a 4 foot radius of your genitals.
You know things aren't going well when al-Qaida is FORCED to fly to your city. They don't even want to. So it's time to step up Detroit. If you guys had something else to contribute and people actually wanted to fly to your city, then maybe plane tickets would be more expensive, and al-Qaida would need to pick a new target. Like somewhere in Jersey.
Ok, ok, that Super Bowl commercial was pretty damn cool. But at the same time, the most recognizable figure Chrysler could choose to represent Detroit is a prescription drug abusing white rapper. That pretty much sums it all up for me. Just get around to building that RoboCop statue and you're all set.
And al-Queda, maybe flying with another airline would make you less angry and stop wanting to kill people because there are flight attendants like this guy. (Seriously, watch this video. I almost did a CooperMusic post about him).
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