This chick is in some hot water now.

Just came across this headline: "Teen pregnant 'from swimming in pool.'" WHAT!!! Ok, now the world has gone bat-shit crazy. Are you effing kidding me?

This teen's mother, Magdalena Kwiatkowska, honestly believes that her 13! THIRTEEN! year-old became pregnant from "stray" sperm in a hotel swimming pool. Many news sites quote a "travel industry source" (what the hell does that mean?) as saying, "The mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there." Of coouuuurse she didn't. Obviously she did much more than just meet them. And I'm guessing the pleasure wasn't all hers.

Don't drink the water!

Just when you're thinking that this story can't get any better - it does. The mother is now suing the Egyptian hotel where this dirty dip occurred. Don't get me wrong - the hotel should definitely try to keep sperm out of their pool water because that's just nasty (and you thought the hot tub on the Jersey Shore was dirty), but how is this scientifically possible? Everyone knows that sperm doesn't even swim upstream! I just don't get how this happens.

Long story short, this girl was doing the bedroom backstroke without a swim cap and now her mother tried to save her from drowning. Let me guess, the father's name is Marco Polo.

Caannnnooonnnnn baaallll!