Who would win?

NATTY ICE vs KEYSTONE LIGHT vs BUSCH LIGHT

OK so in this rendition we have a throw down between 3 of the most popular cheap, college, pound until you fall flat on your face beers. Perm, you'll have to excuse my not including the High Life, but it would just be way to clear of a winner.So because beer cans can't really fight each other, we'll have to determine this winner based on the general crowd that I perceive to be drinking each beer coupled with the quality of some of their advertisements.


So lets start with Natty Ice. I'm gonna go on record right now as saying I'd rather drink piss filtered through a Britta than this shit. Fucking gewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. The average drinker of this beer, in my opinion, are kids who can easily afford high quality beers, but simply buy this crap to maintain their bro status, Whether it be a lax bro, frat boy, or any other person who's dad makes a shit ton of money and are essentially rubbing it in the face everyone around them. So to quote Kenny Powers, Natty Ice, you're fucking out!!!

Moving on to Keystone. Only people I know that drink this crap are hicks. The lame version of Coors, Keystone tastes like a penny. A bad penny. To evaluate this beer, I look no farther than their "Keith Stone" advertisement. I mean, i get trying to market based on the whole "smooth taste" angle, but there is nothing fucking smooth about a dude in a mullet with the world's biggest Slim Jim. Nothing at all. Keystone is also fucking out.

And finally we come to Busch Light. By no means is Busch an acceptable beer to purchase in any scenario outside of college life, but compared to these other two, shit looks like the finest brew in the history of man. The shitty brother or Bud Light, every once in a while, if the moon is properly aligned, it almost tastes passable.

If you wana know why Busch wins, just look at this ad from the 1980's. It pretty much shows you that the shitty less than Bud taste of Busch, is actually the taste of America. We haaaaaave a winnerrrrrrrr!