Angry Cooper Rants: Student Loans PSA

Ah yes, the scourge of the college grad. Since our demographic is basically graduates of higher instiutions, people who get misled in google search, and some people in Germany (Rammsetin ist genial, Entschuldigen Sie mein Deutsch), I'm going to appeal to the former this morning (I'll do Rammstein in a CooperMusic later).

So it took me until about Thanksgiving to finally get over the fact that I wasn't going back to school and pretty much everyone I'd met over the past four years was no longer within a five minute walk. I heavily relied on electronic communication (facebook) (shut up I've been playing lexulous all morning and I'm trying to get bigger words in my vocabulary) and resigned myself to the fact that I just wouldn't get to see everyone as often. And I was ok with this. And then one day I got an innocent looking white envelope in the mail.

Thanks to having no social life and being a huge nerd my work ethic in highschool, I thought that i would not be paying off my education for the rest of my life. But I've been getting emails about late payments and ninja death squads coming after me lately. So I says to the mom-dawgs, let's just set this payment up online so I don't have to feel like crap when I give up one whole paycheck to some sort of banking company that has two names and may or may not be corrupt and is probably charging me massive interest and they have no need for it.

Corporations...... Global Warming

So you call them up and after going through 20 menus basically they go, well you've been paying one loan, just not the one we're concerned about. Apparently THIS loan comes first and foremost and needs to be payed at the penalty of never being able to buy a house or anything ever again. Admittedly I was scared of this, but one of the advantages to not having a social life of starting work 3 days after graduation is that my bank account reads slightly more than $0.00 (... or it would have if some tool hadn't dropped a mattress off his truck and caused the car in front of me to stop short on the Tobin after playing tennis that afternoon [hi kate]).

Pictured: Bridge of Death

The real kicker is the billing number here though. I've been paying to this anonymous number my money, but apparently the OTHER loan has the same number. Clearly somebody has to step their game up. Supposedly adding a 1 at the end fixes everything and ends world hunger or something

Well by this point somebody has alreay taken all my personal information, but for the three people that are still reading this, this is sort of a PSA. In the event you have two loans, call the damn company and make sure you don't owe thousands of dollars because you're "late" paying things. I'm sure somebody's going to comment and say something incredibly reasonable, but I spent 2 hours on the phone with these people just to make sure i don't have ruined credit for the rest of my life.

So this is probably the least angry and funny i've ever been (if that's even possible)