Missed Connections Monday: The Creepiest of Craigslist

Oh Monday - the bitch step-sister of the week. The least popular day no one likes. Things have gotten so bad that people wish you didn't exist. They just look past you to the next weekend.

But things are about to get better. And it's all because of Missed Connections Monday - my regular Monday afternoon column. Missed Connections is a section of Craigslist where people post descriptions of someone they saw (but didn't talk to) and had a love-at-first-sight moment with. The goal of these posts is to somehow re-connect and find that person (try to contain your laughter).

Let's cut to the chase - here's the first post with the subject line "You gave me a tetanus shot last night :)"

"Hi!!!! You were the nurse that gave me a shot last night for a dog bite. I'm the tall/blond one. I don't know why but I was so damn attracted to you. I almost wanna hurt myself so I can come over to see you again hahaha."

Wow. Really? The nurse may have given you a tetanus shot, but what you really need is a dose of reality. Going in for a tetanus shot after getting bit by a dog doesn't exactly make you seem like Macho Man, but then the smiley face and 3 exclamation points after the "Hi" really cut your masculinity down. And you clearly have a way with words "I don't know why but I was so damn attracted to you." What does that even mean? Might as well say "You aren't attractive at all, but for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off of you." I appreciate the witty attempt of humor by saying your want to hurt yourself, but after reading this post no amount of self-inflicted bodily harm would be able to fix this situation. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

You had your shot, a perfect opportunity. And you missed it.