We're Men

"Dad, we're men, okay?
That means a few things.....
We like to shit with tho door open.
We go on riverboat-gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky.
That's what we do!
And now that is all wrecked."



Step Brothers is on, and im inspired..... gonna kick it "old school" (hhahahahaha another Will Ferrel movie)

Short shorts have been banned… Unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar

Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal

When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrower puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticeable wear, then he is required to doone of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it.If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours

It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober

The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men

Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty

All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat; if not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegetarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.

Every man should watch sports center at least once a day, though multiple
viewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that
may arise that day

Do not have a conversation at a urinal.

Grilling, regardless of weather, is always the first choice for cooking

No man shall ever turn down free beer because "it’s not their brand,” the only exception is its from a stranger, and is not capped

No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man

The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not
a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions
are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys, cause that’s just awesome…. They are like little people

In closing.... Ive traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!

POW POW!