Angry Cooper Rants: BBM

So I'm going to assume for the sake of brevity, our statistics on where our hits are coming from (and you not reading a ton of rambling) that you've met me. By this, it means you know 2 things.

---I don't watch a lot of network TV

---You've made fun of me about my interactions with the opposite sex.

So within the last few weeks I've devised an evil plan. Some combination of joining a summer ice hockey league, it being nicer out (eventually), and the desire to look good in the cluuuuub has got me exercising.

Pictured: My summer plans

I believe that Mr. Guarino described my routine best as the "fat kid exercise" plan. In addition to running and a regular set time for general exercises, should I happen to be watching something on the television later (in last night's case the Bruins), every time there is a commercial break it is my obligation to perform 20 pushups and some combination of abdominal exercises. I'll save you the rest of plan that is sure to go wrong, but last night I stumbled upon a commercial that made me wtf.

In my last Angry Cooper Rant I whined about the blocking of certain social media sites at my new site of employment. In general, I'm all for new and innovative forms of communication and linkage. However, something just isn't right about Blackberry Messenger (BBM). Let me rephrase that, the BBM flirting commercial sort of got on my nerves.

You know what really grinds my gears?

I'm entirely guilty of trying to have conversations by text message. More likely than not it's due to my own damn laziness and horrible one on one personal speaking skills more than it is one or both parties not being able to talk on the phone. Regardless, the mainstream acceptance of texting has made pretty much everyone's lives easier. From reliable sources BBM is "texting to the next level."

Yes, I used to front a band, and if i could get on facebook I'd post a cheesy picture of me singing. This would have something to do about my personal speaking skills.

My best parallel is the old "direct connect" in AIM. Even though it was called instant messenger, you were generally able to respond at your leisure, pretty much choosing to ignore or respond to someone as necessary. However, when things got more serious, you direct connected with someone. At that point, both of you knew that each other were at the computer and going to respond quickly. Pretty much the same deal here with BBM.

According to my dramatic and probably innuendo laden interpretation of the commercial, when you go to the bar and hit it off with someone it's customary to whip out your blackberry. I'm not sure if you're pretending to text someone to make it seem like you're not THAT interested or whatever, but your phones are out. However it becomes immediately obvious that you both have blackberry's (blackberries?) and you "exchange pins." You then both go your separate ways for a peroid of time...because you know it's a waste of time to actually continue a conversation somewhere else.

How many of these hats are on the internet?

From that point forward you basically converse only by BBM. No need to talk by phone any more, you have BBM! In general I'd be ok with this, I'm not trying to be a old man here and be chivalrous and communicate via love letters but...

It really all comes down to one sticking point for me. I'm not sure who thought it was a good idea, but the only feature they talk about is how you can tell if somebody has read your BBM. On the surface, this makes enough sense that you really don't think about it. "Oh, cool, I know they read it, my valuable information has been delivered." Something like that.

However, in case you happen to be one of those crazy people like me (or you've been stalked for a period of time... like me) this is pretty creepy.

I swear, I just gave her my pin! I was drunk, it was so quick, I had no idea

So the general plan is that you have sent them a message and they have read it and you now KNOW they've read it. However, one of the girls in the commercial goes on to say something along the lines of "you can't respond too quickly." I forgot that to mention that there are exactly zero ugly people in this commercial.

The beautiful people, the beautiful people

Anyways, by now I'm sure you're guessing that I will now rant about how this girl is an obvious tease and a pain in the ass and probably not worth it hulagluahglauhnnnnnnrgh. But really. Lets be serious here. Texts have that sort of "gap" in which I can read, but choose to not respond to a text for a period of time. If somebody's ever been angry or frustrated with you, you get what I'm talking about. Hypothetically, we can now have people anxiously sitting around their phones overanalyzing everything about the time it takes to read and respond to the message. OH WAIT. As if I don't have enough bull to deal with when it comes to girls, now this. Thanks for completely confirming my suspicions RIM.

Basically this with texts

Two posts, two reasons I biatch about technology. I've become some combination of Dustin's Tech Tuesday and Sac's Gears Being Ground. Needless to say I probably won't be going to get a blackberry when I eventually decide to get a new phone.

Commercial's below if you want to see where I'm coming from.