What Really Grinds My Gears: Snow

Fuck snow. Fucking frozen, white, devil powder is what it is. Why do I hate snow so much? Well, its the classic story of arch enemies that were best friends when they were younger, then one started acting shady and veering towards the dark side. See, as a youth, I loved this shit. The way it looked, the way it smelled, the prospect of getting school canceled, hell I didn't even mind shoveling. Snow ball fights were epic, sledding was the tits, and tackle football games brought up memories of the games olden days....days of course when I wasn't even alive but still had appreciation for.



Now, let me get to why I hate it. Fuck cold weather number one. You can't do shit when its cold. People will say pond hockey, but how often do you get a chance to actually make it outside when its still light out when your stuck shoveling all day. And yes, I shovel. Not snow blow. My dad thinks snow blowers are the devil and make you lazy.

Then there's the whole dreaded cleaning your car off when it snows. That pisses me off like no other. Just the other day I went to pick up fellow gentleman eguarino at the train station. You know, just gettin my good Samaritan on. But then I get shit on by the universe. I gotta get the scraper out, I get all cold and wet because I'm stuck outside in this shit and Assumption College plows like dick heads.

Getting me to my next point why snow blows (no pun intended). Fucking traffic shoots through the roof because when it snows enough there is nowhere to put the shit. So you loose a whole lane of traffic and there's nowhere to fucking park. And then when they do plow, fucking pot holes up the ass hole. Then it takes fucking years for the shit to melt, so even when you get a nice day, you still cant do shit.

I'll be nice though. Snow you get one day and that's Christmas, only because it just looks right.

Other than that fuck snow. Fuck it big time. If I can identify with one dude its definitely Heat Miser. Que the fucking song.



And that's what really grinds my gears....