In the most misleading article title ever "Can alcohol help the brain remember?"

I legitimately was excited when I clicked this link.

"Oh man, Evan brought the heat last night. We got people on the `Best Coast` retweeting, a spike in reads. I need this article to be a winner."

Charlie Sheen is still popular, right? Guys?

Now it's not like we need a reason to drink (since the Sox are the worst in the league, double playoffs and the fact that it's finally nice outside,) but who doesn't want to think and tell people that they're actually getting SMARTER while they're getting crunk in the cluuuub.

Or an excuse to post a picture of drunk Eli

The common belief is that the increase in the amount of the alcohol intake increases the amount of brain cells um, lost. Clearly I have never seen any epsiodes of Cheers but it seems like a good excuse to relate this quote. (and in what's called a professional teaser, you have to go behind the cut.)

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

But thanks to the power of SCIENCE (or rather, if this article didn't SUCK) maybe we don't have to lose more than our livers to C2H5OH.

Thats consumable alcohol for those of you who haven't been paying attention

I would suggest a guess that we've all done the following. There's an exam or something coming up, and yet it happens to be a thursday night. At some point in time, there comes an point where some combination of not giving a crap, peer pressure and/or Perm throwing your books across the room causes you to enter Consumption College.

More blatant whoring of popular things.

At some point (probably 6am, because there's no chance the test is at a REASONABLE time) you crack open a book, half drunk, dead tired. Well at least when I read that article title I assumed the throwing back a few bottles (kegs and eggs anyone?) might help you to remember enough snippets to pass the test. (Personal experience this has worked for me, but I haven't exactly gone out of my way to get a good sampling)

As it turns out, alcohol has been shown to incease learning in the subconcious. That's right, you are learning even if you are blacked out

You are getting very sleepy. You will all think my blog posts are awesome. I have become sexy on the level of the Old Spice man.

I guess it all comes down to psychology. Things you enjoy release dopamine. Dopamine makes you happy. You tend to do decide to do things that make you happy when you're drinking

You know that dance move you bust out to get the girl at closing time at the bar?

Me Neither.

Or how you shoot a lefty double bounce off the walls to impress the girls?

This I have done. Anzalone Beer Pong RULES

Yeah. So it might not be true that "you're a different person when you're drunk," but it's really that "i'm going to do the random shiat that makes me laugh and be goofy"

Take this as a lesson, readers. You are really learning from your mistakes. (Yes, I'm using mistakes because who has never regretted anything they've ever done drunk.) Now what you choose to learn is up to you, but if DDT'ing Sac through a fan is you're kind of thing and it makes you happy... just keep a heads up if there are a tower fans involved.