Need Less: People living off the system

Ok so I've been working my big boy job for just over a year now (by 2 days!). And the one thing I've consistently noticed is how much my paychecks are lowered by "The Man" taking out taxes. Don't get me wrong, my monster tax return helped with this, but no one wants to see their money taken from them. Especially if it goes to people like Leroy Fick.

So since this 56 year old dude won the lottery, people are either going to be extremely happy or jealous, but I'm absolutely enraged. That's because despite the $2 million he won last year, he's still eligible for foodstamps! That's right! Myself, along with every other tax paying American, are indirectly paying for this man's groceries. Apparently there's some loophole that his winnings don't count as income (despite the fact that winners have to pay income taxes on their earnings!).

To make matters worse, there's this dude:

Yup, that's a real, adult man right there. And he's on welfare. Along with his "caretaker." Ignoring the fact that his fetish is right or wrong (it's totally fucked up by the way), it's absolutely absurd that he gets government assistance. For what reason? He builds furniture, so he's capable of being employed. And he even dresses normal in public, so he can function in society.

Enter Senator Tom Coburn who is my new hero (despite the fact that he's a Republican). He wants to take away this man's Social Security check. Now that this situation is finally getting some coverage, hopefully the right thing will happen.

Oh and what was this baby's reaction? “You wanna test how damn serious I am about leaving this world, screw with my check that pays for this apartment and food. Try it. See how serious I am. I don’t care,” the California man said. “I have no problem killing myself. Take away the last thing keeping me here, and see what happens. Next time you see me on the news, it will be me in a body bag.”

Hmmmmm. Ok! I didn't realize I signed up to basically pay "child" support for a perfectly capable adult male. Maybe he actually wants to kill himself from constantly watching Barney on PBS. Or because Glen Davis totally stole his nickname.

...and that grinds the shit outta my gears!

Need Less: Professional Drivers on a Closed Course

We all know this phrase from the car commercials we see on TV. But just think about how absurd it is. I mean do people actually need their pick-up trucks to tow 10,000 pounds up a flaming ramp? And what the hell are you supposed to do once you get to the top? I know I'm going after that dick who turned on the gas and started the fire. That was uncalled for 'bro.

If I happen to come across this life or death situation and I absolutely needed to get to the top of this random structure in the middle of the desert, then I'll make sure I call someone who owns a Toyota Tundra. Because obviously Chevy, GMC and Ford don't engineer their trucks to be able to do this. Tundra owners must have complained and run across this situation so many times that Toyota decided to step up and say, "You know what, let's make a truck that can do this. And the commercial will be awesome because people will see how bad-ass our trucks are."

Or they're just complete dumb-asses and think people actually want to buy these trucks because they can do all this cool shit. You can drive up this crazy ramp in the middle of the no where, but if you're looking for a truck that can function in the city or on highways then you're fucked.